


i will find any way(to your wild heart)

by flooded_in_the_sky



Series: i want the flame but not the burning [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Rose Tico/Kaydel Ko Connix, First Kiss, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, i had to do this ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flooded_in_the_sky/pseuds/flooded_in_the_sky
Summary: After the dust settles, Finn and Poe need to talk.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: i want the flame but not the burning [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603390
Comments: 8
Kudos: 148





	i will find any way(to your wild heart)

Poe felt like he was dreaming as he landed on Ajan Kloss. They hadn’t gone to Exegol, they hadn’t beat the Final Order, Black Squadron was intact, and he would wake up tomorrow like always. But getting out of his X-wing and wading through the crowds made the whole thing feel real and solid. For better or for worse, they _really_ had done it.

There was one person, Poe decided, that he almost desperately needed to see. The rest of the world was a haze as he searched the crowds, eyes finally landing on Finn. He was hugging Rose and then Connix, both of whom noticed Poe and started waving wildly as he approached. Finn looked at both of them, confused, before turning around and seeing Poe. The two all but broke into a run to meet each other, crashing into one of the tightest hugs Poe’d ever gotten in his life. All other noise faded away except for Finn’s heartbeat, as fast as his own as Poe tucked his chin into the crook of Finn’s neck. They both pulled away, and for a moment all Poe could focus on were Finn’s eyes, wide with shock and alive.

“When Rose said you were still on that command ship, I-”

“I know. I felt the same way every time I saw an X-wing go down.”

 _Oh._ Poe didn’t know what to say to that, really. He knew he loved Finn, had loved him since Starkiller, and watching the command ship explode felt like a part of him was choking. But he hadn’t stopped to consider that Finn felt the same way, was actively looking for him during the firefight. Poe wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then and there, but he felt Finn’s grip around his middle loosen as Rey, bloodied and barely standing, crashed into their arms. They didn’t let go of each other for seconds or centuries, finally breaking when Rey pulled back and gazed at them both with tears in her eyes. 

“We did it,” she whispered.

“We did it,” Finn said.

“We did it.” Poe took hold of their hands and squeezed them before pulling them both back in.

* * *

Soon after the reunions were over, somebody opened the stash of alcohol Poe was sure he’d kept secret, and everybody on base who wasn’t receiving medical attention collectively let loose. And really, even though most knew the work wasn’t truly done, they deserved a break, a chance to forget the loss the day had brought. Finn and Poe had chosen to sit out the beginning of the festivities with Rey, who was getting her wounds cleaned and bandaged. When the medical droid declared her fit to leave, they made their way past all the parked ships to the open space where people were dancing, drinking, or just talking, all happy to be alive. 

“Poe, can you give us just a minute?” Finn asked, and in spite of all that had happened that day, Poe felt a sinking in his stomach as he nodded and continued walking. On the edge of the fray he found Rose and Connix leaning against the trees, fingers intertwined.

“Hey, Poe!” Rose waved him down with a smile, maybe the biggest he’d ever seen her wear. “Join us! Beaumont should be back in a tick if you want him to grab you something.”

“I think I’ll hold off for now, but thanks. How are you two?”

“Little scratches here and there, but nothing bad.” Connix finished off her bottle and set it down by her feet. “And you? Took an awful long time getting down here.”

“I’m fine. I just waited with Rey for a bit,” Poe replied, and Connix nodded. “Rose? Can I talk to you for a second?”

Rose and Connix exchanged a glance and a shrug before they broke their grasp and Rose followed Poe away from the lights and noise of the party.

“What’s up, General?” Rose asked, and quickly made a face. “That feels weird to say, sorry.”

“Feels weird to hear. I just wanted to say thank you. For, y’know. Everything.”

“I meant what I said, Poe. We’re all behind you. And now you’re definitely not in this alone,” she said pointedly, and Poe’s face heated up in spite of himself. “Don’t think I didn’t see you two when we got back.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. But I wanted to say I appreciated what you all did. I’ll call a meeting at some point for a formal thing but. Yeah.”

“Anytime, and I mean that.”

They could hear Rey and Finn stomping back through the grass and reeds towards the party, and Rose elbowed him playfully as she headed back to Connix.

“Hey, was that Rose?” Rey asked, looking after her. “I wanted to talk to her.”

“About?” Finn asked.

“Leia.”

“Oh. Go.” Finn gently pushed her towards the lights and people before turning to face Poe. “Do you want to go in?” 

Poe considered this for a moment. On one hand, he wanted nothing more than to forget about the past twenty-four hours and finally feel weightless, but he also didn’t think he could take the chance of being drunk around Finn, not after the reunion. He had a habit of saying things he never would otherwise and then completely forgetting, and that wasn’t how he wanted the night to go. 

“I think I’m gonna go back, actually. I’m just tired.”

Finn looked at him, concerned. “Are you sure? Do you need one of the med droids back, or-”

“I’m fine, really. I just need to get some sleep, process everything, I think.” Poe wiped his face slowly and yawned as if to prove his point, and Finn nodded, not fully convinced. 

“At least let me walk you back.”

“Really, I’m fine. Go join the party. You deserve it.” Giving him a gentle clap on the back, Poe started walking away from the music and lights, leaving Finn in the shadow of the trees and the fire in his chest to die. It was really for the best, he thought to himself. 

* * *

Whatever gods kept watch over the galaxy clearly had it out for Poe because as soon as he crawled into bed after washing away at least thirty hours of grime, he couldn’t go to sleep. He was exhausted, there was no doubt about it, but for whatever reason the simple act of shutting his eyes and listening to the faint hum of the party from far away only seemed to make him more tired. He tossed around for hours as the sounds from outside slowly dimmed, leaving only a few under the cover of the darkened jungle. More than he would like to admit, Poe looked over to the empty bed where Finn slept and hoped he’d silently come in when Poe was too inside his own head to notice. 

After struggling for an inordinate amount of time, he was finally able to close his eyes and shut out the quiet noise of his brain in an attempt to sleep. This was, of course, when Rey happened to knock on the door and then drop her staff in the hallway, startling him awake.

“Why,” Poe groaned to himself and sat up as Rey came in. “I had just got to sleep.”

“Sorry, General.” Rey settled for propping her staff up against the wall. “Stay put,” she said to it as if it could hear and would listen, and then she turned to Poe.

Poe would be a liar if he said Rey didn’t scare him on a good day, but right now he was too tired to feel anything other than irritated at being woken up as he stood to face her. “What’s so important that you had to come talk to me right now? Don’t tell me you busted my droid again.”

“BeeBee-Ate is _fine_ ,” Rey said exasperatedly. “I’m here for Finn.”

“Okay, this can wait until morning. Or longer, whichever you prefer.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Me? You’re the one who barged in here!”

“I mean with Finn! Are you blind or something?”

“Last I checked, I wasn’t,” Poe snapped. “I think that would be the last thing we all need, don’t you?”

Rey dragged a hand over her face in frustration. “You are _impossible_. Has he not told you?”

“Told me what? That he’s got the Force or whatever and as soon as this whole thing is over he’s gonna leave with you because there are better places in the galaxy for Jedi to set up camp? Because I pieced that one together on my own, thanks.”

Rey stood at the edge of the bed with her mouth set in a firm, thin line for a moment. “Do you really think Finn would ever leave you?” she asked quietly, and Poe didn’t have an answer to that. He’d carved out all the best and worst scenarios in the last few hours or so, in which Finn left for some distant planet and they never saw each other again, or they both stayed on Ajan Kloss for stars knew how long. In his mind, it could go either way.

“Since you’re clearly not going to answer, I’ll tell you: he wouldn’t. Neither of us would. Not forever.” Rey took a deep breath. “And I know you don’t trust me nearly as much as you trust him, which is fair, but. At this point we’ve all lost too much. Where’s the sense in it, y’know?”

“Did Rose take you?” Poe asked finally.

“Yeah. She wasn’t there, obviously. But I could feel her. She’s never really going to leave us, you know. She likes us too much.”

Poe sniffed, half in amusement. “You think so?”

“I know so. I also know that you and Finn need to talk, whenever you both are ready.”

“I don’t-”

“It doesn’t have to be in the morning,” Rey said quickly, cutting him off. “It doesn’t even have to be in the next few days. You just need to talk to him, and not about Resistance or general stuff. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Poe gave her a mock salute. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

“I suppose.” Rey smiled softly as she picked up her staff and left, shutting the door behind her. 

Poe flopped back into bed feeling slightly better than he did before and shut his eyes. He was too far gone to hear Finn and Rey whispering in the hall together, or to hear Finn slip into the room as quietly as he could, quickly showering and sliding into the bed Poe had been staring at all night.

* * *

Poe woke to see the sun poking in through the blinds and the trees in front of the window. The dim lantern he’d lit the night before was dark, and Finn’s bed was empty, but not made like it had been when he fell asleep. A slow, stiff walk to the window to look outside revealed it was just past midday, which explained why he’d never been woken by the sun before. After a few minutes of sitting on the bed and staring at nothing, Poe decided the only real option he had at the moment was to get up and eat something. He assumed he was one of the last people awake, that everybody else had fared better than him despite their hangovers, but as he shuffled to the mess hall, it appeared otherwise. The loss of the day before was just starting to hit, and most who had come as backup were already gone. Scattered groups sat in near-silence, most not bothering to look up as he passed. He took what food he could stomach and decided that he’d have better luck elsewhere.

Poe found Rey tucked into Leia’s office chair, nose tucked in one of the musty old Jedi texts.

“‘Morning. Mind if I join you?” he asked as he settled on the ground by the open drawer where the rest of the books were nestled.

“It’s definitely afternoon, but sure, good morning,” Rey replied in a near-whisper. “You can stay if you give me your roll and be quiet.”

“Fair.” Poe passed her the roll and she took it without looking up. “How long have you been up?”

“Since sunrise, though I wish I could go back to sleep.” A pause. “I said quiet.”

“Apologies, Master.”

Rey kicked him in the leg, making him yelp.

“This is a snark-free zone, General,” Rey said quietly, hiding the amusement on her face poorly.

“Is it, now? Since when?”

“Since just now, when I’m trying to focus. Hush.”

“You seen Finn?”

Rey took a deep breath and set her book down. “You have my attention.”

“All it takes is some meddling in my personal life?”

“I cannot confirm or deny that. I saw him with Connix earlier, but I’m not sure where he is now.”

“Can’t you do the thing where you just. Find him?”

“Where I ‘just find him’?” Rey asked derisively.

“Y’know. With the Force.”

“I mean, yes. However, I don’t think you’re going to need me to find him for you.” Rey and Poe gazed out over the field that had made up their main gathering space to see Finn heading for the rocky outcropping they were both perched on. He looked up for a moment and waved to them before starting up the staircase.

“I’ll leave you to it. Thanks for the roll.” Rey winked at him as she stood up, somehow managing to look regal though she’d been curled in a little ball not a second before and gave Finn a half-hug as she passed.

“Are we still on for tonight?” he asked.

“You let me know,” she replied, and he gave Poe a look when he sat down in the chair.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know, pal.” Poe was suddenly very comfortable to focus on whatever fruit he’d grabbed from the mess hall. “How’re you?”

“I’m alright. Did I wake you up at all last night?”

“No, I was out cold.”

“Okay, good. We got a little worried when you missed breakfast, but I checked on you and you were still sound asleep.”

“You checked on me?”

“That’s what friends do, General,” Finn said with a sly grin.

“I guess you’re right, General.” Poe couldn’t stop the smile breaking out on his face. “Did Rey say anything to you?”

“About?”

“Last night.”

“Just said we needed to talk about, ‘not Resistance stuff,’ quote unquote.” Finn mimed finger quotations as he spoke. 

“Right. That.” Poe sucked in a breath and neither spoke for a moment.

“I-“

“Well-wait, you go first.”

“Are you sure?” Finn asked. 

“Yeah. My thing can wait.” His thing in question had already waited so long, what was a few more minutes in the grand scheme of things?

“Okay, well, um. This is harder to tell you than I thought it was going to be.” Finn rubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath.

“You can tell me anything, man. You know that, right?”

“You say that now, but-Well, really, any sentient being with _eyes_ could tell at this point but. You know how there was something I wanted to tell Rey on Pasaana?”

“Yeah,” Poe replied, unsure of where the conversation was going or if he liked it. “Why?”

“So, I didn’t want you to find out when I told her because it was sort of a big deal and I didn’t know how you would take it, which is completely fair after Ren and everything that happened there-“

“Wait. What does Ren have to do with anything?”

“I’m Force-sensitive. Rey said that’s what the technical term is for it,” Finn said quickly. “I feel like I’ve known for awhile, and I told Rey after Exegol, and we talked about it for a little then and some more today while you were still asleep, and it’s not like I’m gonna be a Jedi like her or anything, because I’m not really sure I want that, but she still said she could train me, so.”

After Finn ran out of steam, he fell into an uneasy silence as he looked for any sign of emotion on Poe’s face. “Are you gonna say anything?”

“Okay. Um. Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I had my suspicions,” Poe said slowly, though it sounded more like a question. 

“Never stupid,” Finn deadpanned.

“I said most of the time.”

“Still.” Finn didn’t look at him for a minute or two. “So now what?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are things gonna be weird?”

“Why would things be weird?”

“Don’t be a ass right now.”

“Sorry.” A pause. “Maybe. I just-you know what happened. With Ren.”

Poe had done everything in his power to block those hours from his memory, to leave behind the feeling of his very thoughts being manhandled, but it wasn’t easy. Both he and Finn were all too aware of the nightmares, less frequent now but not completely gone, maybe never erased from his mind. It was what led to them sharing a room, and on some nights, a bed. And Finn was smart enough to know that Poe had never entirely felt comfortable with the idea of the Force though he’d never said as much. All of this seemed to hit Poe in the chest, fire raging. “I know you had nothing to do with that.”

“But it’s still the Force.”

“As much as I appreciate you taking my trauma into consideration, that shit is nothing when it comes to you. You’re too important to me, Finn.” Poe hadn’t planned on saying that bit, but his mouth moved faster than his thoughts did most of the time, and now it was his turn to wait in agonizing silence as the reality of what he’d said hit the both of them. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to _you_ about.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Poe slowly stood up and leaned against the railing, eyes glued to the floor. “Here’s the thing.” He didn’t breathe for an eternity before he spat the words out. “I love you. I have for awhile.”

Finn didn’t say anything for a moment, and Poe took that as his signal to get the hell out of there and maybe leave the planet altogether, depending on how far he got before somebody stopped him. 

“I’ll just-” He pointed to the stairs as he cut himself off and turned around. This was why he never let the feeling in his chest pass the stage of sparks, because now his chest was a house on fire and the roof was surely going to cave in any minute, killing anybody who had the misfortune of being inside.

“Wait. Wait, c’mere,” Finn said as he stood up. “Do you know how much it sucks that you’re telling me this now?”

“Uh. No?”

“Are you saying I could’ve kissed you after Exegol? Is that what you’re telling me?” Finn asked, sounding incredulous. 

“I mean, you could have, for sure,” Poe said slowly. “Do you still want to?”

Finn glared at him for a second. “No, Poe, I don’t still want to. That’s why I’m asking,” he deadpanned. “Of course I do!”

“Shut up. No better time than the present.”

“No better time than the present,” Finn affirmed, pulling him in close. Their lips met and Poe swore he and Finn were the only two people on base, on that planet. Hell, in the whole galaxy. Nobody else mattered in that moment to him but Finn _._

* * *

Rey found them a few hours later, hands interlocked as the sun finished sinking into the ground.

“Generals. I take it things went well?” she asked with a teasing smile.

“You could say that.” Poe pressed a kiss to Finn’s temple as they grinned. 

Rey pumped her fist in excitement. “Finn, you’re off the hook for training. I’m happy for you both, but Rose owes me money. I’ll be right back.” She marched off in search of the weapons commander with a renewed sense of purpose. 

“We better be getting a cut of that!” Finn called after her.

“We’ll see!” she yelled in reply.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i felt like i had to write a sequel to the other work in this little series now lol. title is from wild heart by bleachers. this is my [tumblr](https://ccerebral-thunderr.tumblr.com/) if you want to stop by. thank you for reading!


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